


Sweet Psycho

by Ghostwritemylife



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Based on a song, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2020-03-13
Packaged: 2020-04-06 17:43:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19067512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghostwritemylife/pseuds/Ghostwritemylife
Summary: Jinsol woke up in the middle of the night to her phone ringing.She recognised the ringtone immediately and jumped out of bed.Jungeun, her favourite little psycho, needed her and no matter what, Jinsol would always run back to her.





	1. Sweet but Psycho

**Author's Note:**

> So Sweet but Psycho by Ava Max was on the radio and it got stuck in my head and I immediately imagined a lipsoul situation along with it so here you go, enjoy this story that was supposed to be a one-shot :P

Oh, she's sweet but a psycho  
A little bit psycho  
At night she screamin'  
"I'm-ma-ma-ma out ma mind"

\----------------------------------------------------

Jinsol had been sleeping rather lightly when her phone rang with a ringtone she recognised all too well.

She jumped up to pick up the phone and slid her thumb across the screen to answer the call.

'Jungie, I'll be right there.' Her voice steady but worried.

'Jinsol... I need you. Please. My head...' Jungeun sounded desperate, her breathing shaky as if she'd been crying.

'I'll be right there, okay?' 

As Jungeun drops the call, Jinsol had already gotten dressed and ran downstairs.

Her mother walks out of the bathroom with a sigh.

'Jungeun?' 

Jinsol simply nods, an apologetic smile gracing her lips. Her mother nods back and waves her off.

'I told you to bring her home next weekend, you wouldn't have to drive out all the way back in the middle of the night then for one of her episodes.'

Jinsol sighs and turns towards the hallway to exit the house and get into her car.

Her mother is right, bringing Jungeun home with her on the weekends would be easier. However, it would also make for more issues.

To her parents, Jinsol and Jungeun had a lovely relationship, which was true for the most part. However, they have no clue of what these 'episodes' of Jungeun mean.

Jinsol only ever told them that she was the only person to be able to calm her, so she had to go. During the week this was no issue since Jungeun and her shared a dorm room on campus. But Jinsol had to visit her family on the weekends as often as she could. And that's when she would be woken up by Jungeun's call in the middle of the night, frantically begging her to come back.

Jungeun and her met for the first time at a random sorority bash. Jinsol was never one for partying but she needed to relax and her best friend Sooyoung kind of dragged her along to unwind after exams.

*************************************

*FLASHBACK*

Jinsol is standing in the corner of the kitchen, a red cup with some form of alcohol in her hands. Sooyeong had run after a cute freshie she's had her eyes on for a while now, effectively leaving Jinsol behind.

Jinsol didn't mind. She was quite well-known on campus for being the gorgeous idiot with a brilliant mind. Jinsol aced all her classes but had this 'stupid' charm about her. She was easily confused but hand her some top tier math problems and she'll have them solved in a few minutes.

For that reason, she was also very sought after by boys and girls alike. However, she made it very clear that she wanted to focus on her studies more than anything. This led to her basically befriending everyone, being oblivious to the blushes on everyone's cheeks surrounding her when she flashes them a friendly smile. Sooyoung teases her, saying she's a heartbreaker. Sooyoung wasn't much better. 

Sooyoung worked as a part-time model, yet somehow kept her grades way up high, almost on Jinsol's level. She did play around but made it very clear she wasn't looking for a relationship. That is until she suddenly set her eyes on a freshie by the name of Jiwoo. Since she saw her at the start of the semester she's been chasing the girl. But somehow she was actually too shy to talk to the girl. So she basically became her stalker and looked out for her around campus.

Jinsol nearly spills her drink when a girl with grey hair is pushed into the kitchen by some classmates of hers she recognised. She bumps into her and almost slips, luckily Jinsol manages to set aside her drink and catch the girl with her other arm.

Her classmates laugh at the girl in her arms mockingly until they notice Jinsol. Jinsol recognises one of them, Jane. She was always flirting with Jinsol no matter how often she told her they'd never be more than friends.

'Oh, Jinsol. Sorry about that. Crazy over here needs to get us drinks. Would you like anything?' 

As she bats her eyelashes at Jinsol, Jinsol feels nothing but disgust at the way she addressed the poor girl still in her hold. Now that Jinsol looked down at her, she noticed the grey-haired girl looked terrified. Her pupils were shaking and her hands were clinging tightly to Jinsol's arm. 

'Hey, are you okay?' 

The girl lifts her head to meet Jinsol's eyes and Jinsol nearly has a heart attack. The girl is simply gorgeous. For the always friendly and flirty Jinsol who never had romantic feelings for anyone, she was shocked to find herself reduced to a blushing mess under the girl's gaze. The girl shakes her head frantically and clings tighter to Jinsol. 

Jinsol lets her and holds her close, using her other arm to gently pet the girl's grey locks.

'Jinsol, what are you doing? Wouldn't you rather hold me?' 

Jane looks furious with jealousy and steps forward to reach for the girl.

Jinsol is quicker and pushes the girl behind her, slapping Jane's hand away.

At this point, they had attracted a crowd.

'Stop it, Jane. I don't know what you guys did to her, but you have no right to deny her my embrace. I'll decide who to hold. And I've told you multiple times that I don't like you like that. So get your head out of the clouds and be a decent human.'

The crowd gasps in shock. Jinsol was never one to raise her voice. Even to defend someone. Yet here she was defending this unknown girl she'd never seen before.

'Are you joking? Why are you defending this freak?! She's crazy. Since the start of the semester, she's been going around sleeping around with everyone only to kick them out in the middle of the night yelling at them. She even fucking pulled a knife on one of my friends once, Jinsol!'

Jinsol's eyes widen in shock before looking behind her at the girl in question. She's quiet, clinging to Jinsol's shirt with her eyes downcast.

'She doesn't seem so dangerous or crazy right now. She looks scared, terrified even. And I have every bit of reason to believe that you caused this.'

Jinsol grabs her jacket from the floor and pulls the girl's arms off of her gently to put the jacket on her. 

'Does anyone here know who she came with or where her dorm is?'

Jinsol looks around at the crowd. Multiple people raise their hand, blushing furiously.

'I told you she's been sleeping around. Everyone knows where her dorm is.'

Jinsol frowns at this but wraps the scared girl in her arms and walks towards the backdoor.

'That psycho's name is KimLip by the way. Have fun with that.' 

Jinsol has had enough of Jane's slander and turns around angrily, ready to punch her square in the face. Most people knew not to mess with her.

Jinsol was always friendly and polite, but Sooyoung and she had been in kickboxing training since high school together and Sooyoung loved bringing up the fact that Jinsol easily beat everyone at the club to brag about her best friend.

As she raises her fist, she's stopped in her tracks. Jane cringes away from her and lets out a shriek. The crowd gasps.

The KimLip girl had grabbed Jinsol's fist from behind and wrapped her arm around Jinsol's waist. KimLip's breath ghosted over her ear driving Jinsol insane.

'Please...No violence...' 

Jinsol's face softens, KimLip sounded so broken. Is this the same girl that allegedly was crazy, slept with people and pulled a knife on someone?

She drops her fist and lets the girl wrap herself around her. She wraps her arms around KimLip and silently leaves the house, ignoring the murmurs slipping through the door once they pass through it.

 

As they walk across campus towards Jinsol's dorm room, Kimlip softly speaks up.

'Thank you...' 

It was barely a whisper but Jinsol heard. She gently rubs her arm and nods.

'Don't worry about it. Nobody deserves to be toyed with or falsely accused of anything.'

They suddenly stop. KimLip stopped walking and stared at the grass under their feet.

'It's true though...'

Jinsol's dumbness decides to kick in, she's utterly lost as she looks at the pretty girl before her.

'Excuse me, what?'

Their eyes meet as KimLip looks up at Jinsol, tears in her eyes.

'I do sleep around and yell at people to get out after in the middle of the night. And... I did pull a knife on that girl's friend...But they wouldn't leave and... My head hurt... But they wouldn't listen so I...'

At this point, KimLip is straight up crying her eyes out. Jinsol quickly steps closer to wrap her in a hug. Jinsol's heart couldn't handle anyone being sad, let alone such a beautiful girl.

'It's okay. I don't judge. My friend used to sleep around too, there's no shame in not wanting a committed relationship. Though I don't condone yelling at people and pulling knives out of nowhere. Although I think it's more than what meets the eye with you, isn't it?'

A nod against her chest is all it takes for Jinsol to make a decision. She was going to get to know this girl better and protect her from shallow people like Jane.

 

Jinsol decides to make them some tea when they arrive at her dorm.

'I hope you like chamomile? Figured we could use a warm soothing drink after all that.'

Jinsol hands her a cup and sips her own.

'Jungeun...My name is Jungeun.' 

Jinsol smiles softly, a blush colouring her cheeks. 

Grab a cop gun kinda crazy  
She's poison but tasty  
Yeah, people say, "Run, don't walk away"

'Jungeun, that's a beautiful name. I hope I'm not overstepping but why did Jane call you 'KimLip'?

Jungeun sips her tea and turns to Jinsol, her eyes brighter than they were before as her cheeks colour red too.

'I... That's the name I usually go by. You know, for the one-night-stands? I rather nobody knows my real name. Actually, besides the professors and my best friend, I think nobody on campus does. Well, I can add you to the list too I guess.'

Her voice is like honey in Jinsol's ears. She can very clearly understand why anyone would be smitten with her and want to be with her. Even if just for one night.

'Ah, that's understandable. But why tell me your real name then?'

Jungeun pouts her lips in thought and all Jinsol wants is to kiss those sweet lips of hers. KimLip was a very well chosen alias.

'Well, I'm not sure why but I feel like you won't be another one-night-stand. And you're the first person to not judge me or call me crazy even though I really am.'

Jinsol chuckles and pats Jungeun's knee gently.

'I think you might be a good kind of crazy though. And I don't do one-night-stands nor relationships honestly. Though for some reason my heart is telling me I could make an exception for you. You're quite infatuating, Jungeun.'

Jungeun smiles sweetly and sets her cup down in favour of cupping Jinsol's jaw gently.

Jinsol's eyes widen and heart-rate quickens as Jungeun leans in and places a sweet kiss on the corner of her mouth.

'I could say the same to you, Jinsol.'

Jinsol licks her lips, gulping and putting down her cup of tea.

She leans in, drowning in Jungeun's deep brown eyes.

Jinsol shouldn't be giving in so easily. But Jungeun is just too irresistible.

No, no, you'll play along  
Let her lead you on, on, on  
You'll be saying, "No (no, no, no, no), no (no, no)"  
Then saying, "Yes, yes, yes"  
'Cause she messin' with your head

Jungeun scoots closer to her on the couch, easily placing herself on Jinsol's lap, her hands wrapping around Jinsol's neck slowly.

As wrong as it feels, Jinsol doesn't want to stop her. She stretches her long neck to meet Jungeun's lips in a soft kiss.

Jungeun tightens her grip on Jinsol's throat, making it difficult for her to breathe. Jinsol was about to push her off and ask what she's doing when she feels Jungeun's tears hitting her cheeks. Jinsol deepens the kiss and reaches up to wipe her tears away, effectively calming Jungeun down. 

As Jungeun melts into the kiss she releases her grip around Jinsol's throat. As oxygen flows back into her lungs, she feels like she's floating. 

Blushing furiously, Jungeun pulls away with Jinsol chasing after her lips completely smitten.

'I... That's new.' Jungeun looks Jinsol in the eye with a soft look.

'What's new? I don't think this is the first time you've done this? Unless you lied to me?' Jinsol chuckles to lighten the mood and sighs sweetly when Jungeun wraps her arms around Jinsol and rests her head on her shoulder.

'Nobody has ever riled me up and calmed me down that quickly before.' Jinsol frowns at this.

'What do you mean, Jungeun?' 

Jungeun traces a pattern on Jinsol's shoulder kissing her neck softly.

'I'm going to be honest here. I don't let others take the lead nor do I back down. My previous 'partners' all know this. They're attracted by the crazy dangerous side of me, I guess... When I kissed you I was suddenly overwhelmed with emotion so quickly and I nearly lost it so early on... But you brought me back, you brought Jungeun back. You didn't let KimLip take over and... I liked it. I haven't kissed someone as Jungeun in a while...'

Jinsol nods softly as she absorbs all this new information about Jungeun.

'It's a good thing I bumped into you tonight then. It's getting late and I'm pretty sure you're tired.' As she says this, Jungeun curls more into her and yawns softly against Jinsol's neck.

'Maybe we should get you to bed. It's been a long night. You're welcome to stay here. My roommate might come home later but you can just stay in my bed. I'll take the couch.'

Jungeun sits up and shakes her head vigorously.

'No... Please, stay with me?' Jinsol can't look away from Jungeun's big brown puppy eyes and finds herself nodding softly.

'Alright, let's go.' Jinsol triest to stand up but finds Jungeun wrapped around her tightly. She just chuckles and picks Jungeun up effortlessly, carrying her to her bedroom.

'I...' Jungeun's face reddens as she's carried by Jinsol so easily.

'Don't sweat it, you're really light and I'm a lot stronger than I look. You been eating enough?'

At Jinsol's worry, Jungeun can't help but smile. Maybe she can sleep well for once, without needing KimLip.

*END FLASHBACK*

****************

As she arrives at their dorm, Jinsol can't help but smile at the memory of their first night together.

Quickly getting out her key she opens the door to find Jungeun in the middle of their living room, pacing. The room is trashed, pillows are thrown everywhere and one of their lamps lays broken on the floor.

Not wanting Jungeun to step in the glass, she quickly approaches her.

'Jungie, I'm here. Come back to me, sweetie.'

Jungeun turns at the sound of her name, tears running down her cheeks as she's shaking violently.

Oh, she's sweet but a psycho  
A little bit psycho  
At night she screamin'  
"I'm-ma-ma-ma out ma mind"

Jinsol wastes no time and wraps her arms around her tightly whispering to her sweetly until Junguen returns the gesture.

'Jinsol...You came back...'

Jinsol pushes some hair out of Jungeun's eyes and kisses her forehead sweetly.

'You know I always come back to you, sweetie. How bad was it this time?' 

Jungeun sniffles and hides in Jinsol's neck.

'I didn't get to the kitchen I think... I called you when I felt myself walking there.'

Jinsol nods understandingly. At least Jungeun didn't get her hands on any sharp kitchen tools this time. Otherwise, their pillows wouldn't have survived. There is also the fact that she could've gone as far as slipping out the dorm in search of Jinsol and scaring the hell out of other students.

That had happened one too many times and even though Sooyoung and Jiwoo lived right across from them and would be able to hold her back long enough for Jinsol to arrive, she'd rather not have to bother them.

'That's great baby, you're getting better at controlling yourself alone.'

Jungeun nods n takes a shaky breath. 

Leading them to the bedroom, Jinsol texts her mom that she arrived fine and she'd call her in the morning.

Jinsol knew after an episode, all Jungeun needed was Jinsol as close to her as possible.

'Sol, I need you...' 

Jinsol lays Jungeun down in bed gently and kisses along her jaw softly.

'I know, baby. I'm right here. Relax...'

Jinsol takes her time showing Jungeun she's right there and how much she loves her sweet little psycho.

After a while Jungeun's dominant side takes over, pinning Jinsol down. Jinsol eagerly lets Jungeun do whatever she wants after having satisfied her needs.

Oh, she's hot but a psycho  
So left but she's right though  
At night she screamin'  
"I'm-ma-ma-ma out ma mind"

This has become a nightly cycle for them. It kept Jungeun's crazy tendencies in check and Jinsol knew every since their first meeting that she was entirely in Jungeun's hold.

From that first night, she was completely enamoured by Jungeun and didn't mind one bit to help her keep KimLip in check.

You're just like me, you're out your mind  
I know it's strange, we're both the crazy kind  
You're tellin' me that I'm insane  
Girl, don't pretend that you don't love the pain

Jungeun was her sweet psycho, and she wouldn't have it any other way.

After all, they were both crazy about each other.


	2. Sweet routine

*Nobody POV*

'Jinsol, why don't you just bring Jungeun along with you next weekend? It's ruining you to have to drive back to her every weekend again in the middle of the night.'

No matter how often Jinsol would explain to her mother that it simply wouldn't work, she didn't want to listen.

'Mom, I told you. Jungeun gets quite loud during her episodes and I don't want to bother you.'

Jungeun does indeed get very loud, and so does Jinsol. She'd rather not have her parents listening in on one of their crazed sex-filled nights.

'Fine, then maybe, for the time being, come visit us during the day and go back to Jungeun at night? You can bring her then, right? Her episodes are at night usually, right?'

Jinsol tells her mother she'll message her after talking it over with Jungeun. 

They had met Jungeun before and absolutely love her. Jungeun loves Jinsol's parents too and it is true that her episodes occur after night falls.

She ends the phone call quickly and settles into the couch, closing her eyes and resting her head back entirely. She smiles as she feels the familiar light weight of Jungeun on her lap.

'Good morning, love.' 

Jungeun simply hums and leans in to kiss Jinsol sweetly, her hands tracing over the various marks left on Jinsol's long porcelain skin. They'd had a rough weekend again, not that either one of them minds.

Jinsol opens her eyes and caresses Jungeun's cheek gently. She always thought Jungeun looks absolutely stunning early in the morning. Her hair would usually be slightly messy. Now a beautiful natural dark brown colour, framing her gentle features. Her lips would tighten, in a futile attempt to hide her smile from Jinsol. And Jinsol would pretend she wasn't absolutely smitten with her.

'I'll walk you to class in a bit. You should eat first. I left your breakfast ready in the kitchen.'

Jungeun nods and kisses her nose before getting up to get breakfast. Jinsol uses this time to go get ready for her day.

Mondays consisted of her walking Jungeun to her first class of the day in the morning and then meeting with Sooyoung to study together at their favourite cafe. The library was too crowded and quiet for them. Since Jinsol started dating Jungeun, many of her admirers saw it as a chance to steal her heart. They think she's simply given up her no-dating policy. However, that only stands for Jungeun and her sweet addictive lips.

 

 

Jungeun got ready quickly after breakfast and clings tightly to Jinsol's hand as they walk to her class. Jinsol insisted on carrying her own backpack as well as Jungeun's, slung over her other shoulder.

'You're too precious to have to carry your own bag. Especially when you have your big strong girlfriend to carry it for you.'

Jungeun never got tired of hearing Jinsol refer to herself as her girlfriend. She prized herself lucky that Jinsol took the time to get to know the real her during her first year in this new town and university.

 

 

*FLASHBACK*

Ever since they met at that party, Jinsol would walk up to Jungeun any time she saw her on campus. They'd exchanged phone numbers after that night and spent a lot of time together, to the surprise and annoyance of everyone on campus that knew one of the 2 or both.

'Jinsol, could you please tutor me after class today?' Another one of Jinsol's classmates trying to steal her time. She often was asked to tutor classmates but never gave in. She knew they were just trying to spend time with her and win her heart. 

'I'm sorry, I don't have time. I have plans after class today.'

The girl scoffs and flips her hair over her shoulder before trailing her hand down Jinsol's toned arm.

'Oh, come on. Wouldn't you rather spend time with me?'

The girl wasn't ugly, they never were. Jinsol simply wasn't attracted to any of them in that way and wasn't about to waste her time. Not when she had promised to drive Jungeun and her best friend to the beach tonight to watch the sunset. Apparently, it was a thing they always did when visiting a new place and hadn't been able to do yet since starting uni here.

'Sol?' Jungeun's sweet voice interrupts Jinsol's thoughts and she swiftly ignores the girl in front of her to turn to the owner of that velvety voice.

'JUNGIE!' she opens her arms as Jungeun rolls her eyes and steps into her tight embrace.

'Weren't we supposed to meet after class?' She smiles down at Jungeun as the other girl gasps.

'You're ignoring me, for this girl? Do you even know who she is?!' The girl's voice was dripping with disgust and disbelief.

Jinsol growls and is ready to snap at her. She finds herself unable to control her feelings of rage towards anyone badmouthing Jungeun.

Jungeun swiftly lifts her head to place a soft kiss on Jinsol's chin. 'It's okay, don't mind her.' Jinsol instantly relaxed, happy to have Jungeun so openly warming up to her. Brown eyes meet and both girls smile widely at each other. The other girl long forgotten as she continues to stomp, trying to get Jinsol's attention. When she realises that won't happen anytime soon, she shouts in frustration and enters the classroom.

'Aren't you way too early, Jungie?' Jinsol inquires sweetly as she brushes Jungeun's grey hair behind her ears. Jungeun's arms are loosely wrapped around her waist. Words are mumbled into her neck as Jungeun nuzzles closer.

'I'm sorry, what was that?' Jinsol strains to make out what Jungeun had tried to say. A warm hand curls itself into the shirt under her warm sweater. A soft whisper tickles her throat.

'I missed you...' Jinsol smiles and feels her face flush red at those 3 little words. She takes a deep breath and simply pulls Jungeun closer to her.

Some bystanders and classmates of hers were looking at the couple in disgust. Nobody understood why Jinsol would bother with that KimLip girl. She was just trying to sleep with her to throw her out like all those others.

Little did they know that Jungeun hadn't slept with anyone since meeting Jinsol. She'd been at Jinsol's dorm almost every night. Knocking on her door in the middle of the night, shaking and falling into Jinsol's embrace. Jinsol would comfort her and hold her tightly until Jungeun fell asleep on her. They had kissed a few more times but never anything more. Jinsol wanted to, but she also wanted to really get to know the real Jungeun first and get rid of her 'sleeping around KimLip' persona.

'Let's get out of here then. Is your friend in class?'

Jungeun looks up at her teary-eyed. 'You don't have to skip class for me...'

Jinsol smiles at wipes away her tears, kissing her nose softly. Her heart breaks at how broken Jungeun sounds.

'I don't have to, but I want to.'

This was the very first-time Jinsol would skip a class. She was the top student and didn't need to attend every single class but did so anyway as to keep her perfect track-record.

Jungeun kisses her neck and hugs her tightly, a mumbled thank you in the space between her lips and Jinsol's neck leaving the 2 warm and content.

'She shouldn't be in class. I just got out of class and wanted to see you before yours. I think she's studying at our dorm.'

Jinsol nods and holds Jungeun's hand tightly, walking into the direction of their dorm buildings.

'Let's go there then? We could leave a bit early and have dinner at the beach too? I know a good seafood place there.' Jungeun smiles and nods, glad to be in Jinsol's company.

 

When they arrive at Jungeun's dorm, they're greeted by the sight of Jiwoo. Jinsol laughs loudly, confusing the 2 girls.

'Jiwoo is your roommate and best friend?' The 2 girls gasp and exchange glances.

'You know me?' Jinsol simply nods and settles into the couch. Jungeun swiftly follows and automatically finds herself seated on Jinsol's lap.

'I know of you. My best friend has a crush on you. Don't tell her I told you that.' Jinsol winks at Jiwoo who simply stares at her dumbstruck.

'Who?! Someone actually has a crush on me!?' Jiwoo's loud voice rings through the room, resulting in a pillow being sent her way by Jungeun, who glares at her.

'Quiet down, you're always so loud.' Jiwoo simply ignores her and smiles excitedly at Jinsol.

'Oh my god, can you introduce her to me?' Jinsol pouts in thought, her hands finding Jungeun's.

'We could turn this into a double-date? I won't tell you or her who the date is with though until you meet at the beach.'

Jungeun shrugs, she doesn't care as long as she gets to see the sunset with her best friend as is the tradition. She wants to make Jinsol part of the tradition too but it wouldn't be bad for Jiwoo to have someone too.

'That sounds great! I love meeting new people! Especially if they somehow have a crush on me! Wait, she's a senior like you then!?'

Jinsol simply nods and texts Sooyoung to get her ass ready and dressed for a double-date. Sooyoung goes along with it, knowing Jinsol doesn't usually go on dates. She assumes she needed a wing-woman.

As Jiwoo busies herself with getting the perfect outfit together, Jinsol whispers into Jungeun's ear, explaining the situation with Sooyoung.

The 2 giggle to themselves in the couch as they wait for the night to unfold.

*END OF FLASHBACK*

Needless to say, Jiwoo and Sooyoung did indeed end up together, and the following year they managed to switch roommates. Sooyoung and Jiwoo happily roomed together as did Jungeun and Jinsol.

The 4 of them are inseparable.

Jungeun smiles to herself as she recalls all the times Jinsol would rush over in the morning to their dorm room, just to be able to walk her to class.

She really is crazy about her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note:
> 
> wow I actually wrote a second chapter. Let me know what ya think?
> 
> Have a good day/night :3


	3. So am I

Do you ever feel like a misfit?  
Everything inside you is dark and twisted

 

*Nobody POV*

'Eventful weekend?' Sooyoung chuckles as she notices the hickies on Jinsol's neck and throat. Jinsol smirks and sits down across from her best friend at the table, gladly accepting the latte she had ordered for her.

'Thanks, Soo. And yes, you know it was.' She sighs and stares at her cup. Sooyoung frowns and reaches out a hand to her blonde-haired friend.

'What's wrong, Sol? Did something happen?' Jinsol shrugs and stares at Sooyoung's soft hand on top of hers. She always feels so lucky to have an understanding friend like her. When she explained Jungeun's situation she immediately joined in protecting her as well as Jiwoo around campus whenever Jinsol couldn't.

'Mom wants me to bring Jungie along next weekend and just go home together before nightfall, hoping she doesn't get triggered that way.'

Sooyoung nods and pats her hand. 'Isn't that a good thing? It could work?' Jinsol looks up to meet her eyes. A scared glint passes over them. It's only a split second but Sooyoung notices and smiles at her comfortingly as Jinsol takes a sip of her drink. 'She's been relapsing?'

Jinsol nods and returns her gaze to her drink, wrapped up in her hands on top of the table. Sooyoung takes a sip of her Americano and sighs.

'She's been very unpredictable lately. I think it's because of the anniversary coming up this month. She's improved so much. I don't think it'll be as bad as last year since we had just met then but I can't help but worry.'

Jinsol runs a tired hand over her face, rubbing at her eyes. 'You'll just have to trust her, Sol. I can tell how much she's trying and you do calm her so much. She has gotten so much better with everything. I mean, you said she hadn't had an episode during the day anymore for months up until now.' Jinsol nods, a soft smile on her lips. She really is proud of her girlfriend for being so strong.

'How are the sessions with Haseul going?'

Jinsol nods and leans back in her seat. Jungeun had agreed to start seeing a therapist but had so much trouble trusting others that Jinsol suggested going to a good friend of hers. She had just graduated as a psychologist at the time. Haseul really was a saviour to them. Her motherly energy quickly let Jungeun in. They've gone beyond the therapist-patient relationship for sure. They were good friends and it helped Jungeun immensely in dealing with her trauma. 

'Haseul called me last week after their session. Jungeun was closing herself off again. She had another episode that same evening.' She takes a moment to sip her drink.

'She says I just need to give her space right now as the anniversary nears. She should be able to make progress again once it passes.'

Sooyoung nods sadly at her best friend. She was shocked when she first heard Jungeun's story. It had been after Jinsol barely managed to stop an episode of hers during their weekly movie night. Jiwoo and Sooyoung could only step back and watch as Jinsol tried to calm down her girlfriend.

 

FLASHBACK

Oh, but it's okay to be different  
'Cause baby, so am I (so am I, so am I, so am I)

'Why did he do that?' Jiwoo was animatedly talking to the characters on screen as the others laughed at her antics. They were tucked on Jinsol and Jungeun's couch back at the dorm, watching a movie together. Jinsol had her arms wrapped tightly around a sleepy Jungeun on her lap. Jiwoo found herself tucked into Sooyoung's side, a protective arm wrapped around her, chin resting atop her head.

'Jiwoo, you know they can't hear you, right?' Sooyoung teases the younger girl, smiling when she turns her head to pout up at her.

'It's okay. It's kind of cute.'

Jiwoo blushes at this, trying to ignore the laughter coming from her best friend. She glares at Jungeun and is about to tease her about her position on Jinsol's lap when someone knocks at the door.

'Are you expecting someone?' Jinsol shakes her head and gets up, gently setting Jungeun on the couch. 'I'll go check.'

She walks up to the door, confused. Perhaps it was a wrong delivery or something. She opens the door and is met with the captain of the football team, Jack. She only knew his name because the kids in her class tended to swoon over him whenever they weren't too busy swooning over Jinsol and trashing her girlfriend.

She simply stares at him, eyebrows raised in expectation. He smirks at her and hands her a piece of paper.

'What's this?' She looks at the sheet and notices it's a worksheet for a business course she knew Jungeun took. Jack gives her a wide smile and leans against her doorframe cockily.

'Jungeun missed class yesterday, it wasn't mandatory but mister Son gave us these sheets to fill in for next class already. Thought I'd be a good classmate and pop by to drop it off.'

Jinsol doesn't miss the teasing tone in his voice. She tries to close the door after thanking him, only to have him hold the door open. His big hand is pressed against the door, effectively caught in a war of strength with Jinsol. One that he seemed to be losing.

'Thanks for dropping this off for Jungeun, you can leave now.' He shakes his head and tries to look behind her at the couch.

'Where is she? I was supposed to hand it to her directly.' He smirks as Jinsol glares at him, ready to punch his lights out.

'That won't be necessary, I can make sure she gets it. Now, please leave.'

Her patience was running out. She was about to smack the door closed as he steps into the dorm towards her. Feeling ready to smack him, she clenches her fists.

'Sol, it's okay.' Jungeun's soft voice pulls her from her thoughts. Her voice sounded scared. 

'There you are! So yeh, brought you that sheet. Aren't I awesome?' His idea of flirting was pathetic really, and right in front of her girlfriend at that.

Jungeun steps around to stand next to Jinsol. She nods at Jack and takes the sheet from Jinsol's hand, replacing it with her own hand.

'Thanks, you can leave now.' Jinsol smirks at Jack as his face falls. He looks devastated at the simple rejection. Jungeun rubs her thumb over Jinsol's knuckles gently, making her relax further.

'What? I came all the way over here to get you this stupid paper and you won't even look at me? I knew my best mate lied to me when he said he had so easily gotten into your bed.' 

That statement made something snap in Jungeun. She hadn't slept with anyone for months, not since meeting Jinsol. And she had made it very clear to everyone that she only cares about Jinsol. The fact that this jock thought he could just waltz in and try to bed her, made her sick. And it triggered some bad memories for her.

'Fuck you!' Jungeun snaps at him, crumpling the sheet in her hand. Jinsol quickly steps forward to hold her back, sensing something was very wrong. This was more than Jungeun's usual outbursts. Her eyes were shaking, she looked absolutely terrified beyond her strong facade.

'Jungie, take it easy.' Jiwoo and Sooyoung had gotten up off the couch too, movie long forgotten in the background as they were now concerned about Jungeun too.

Jiwoo clings tightly to Sooyoung's side. She had seen her best friend react like this before a few years back and she didn't like where it was going.

'Whatever, bitch. I'm out.' Jack turns away and walks down the hall. Jinsol quickly kicks the door closed behind him and turns to Jungeun. 'Jungie, are you okay?' Jungeun looks up at her but she's long gone. Her eyes are dark, fear evident in them. Her fists are tightly balled up beside her, her entire being seems to be shaken to the core.

'Jinsol, be careful. Last time I saw her like this, she hospitalised herself...' Jinsol's heart clenches at Jiwoo's words. No matter what, she wouldn't let Jungeun hurt herself.

You're king and you're queen  
You're strong and you're weak  
You're bound but so free

'Jungie, listen to my voice. Please just focus on me.' Jungeun turns away from Jinsol and runs at the kitchen, throwing open cabinets and drawers, throwing utensils and plates around haphazardly. Jinsol follows after her and wraps her arms around her tightly. 'Jungie, please. You're okay, there's no need for this.'

Behind them, in the living room, Jiwoo had started crying, hiding in Sooyoung's chest. Sooyoung couldn't do anything but tightly hold her girlfriend and try to comfort her as their best friends had a struggle of their own in the kitchen.

'Jungeun, whatever it is, calm down and let us talk about it.' Jinsol tightly wraps her arms around Jungeun, using her strength to lift her out of the kitchen and drag her to the couch. Once there, she pushes her down and straddles her, trapping her underneath her safely.

'Come on, look at me.' Jungeun is trashing and screaming underneath her, not hearing a word she says. Tears are streaming down her cheeks as she yells until her throat feels raw. Jinsol feels tears pricking at the back of her eyes and leans down to force Jungeun to look her in the eye.

Next to the couch, Jiwoo finally speaks up. 'Jungie, he's not here. You're safe. Please don't hurt yourself.'

This seems to momentarily snap Jungeun out of it. Enough time for Jinsol to make eye contact and let Jungeun pull her into a bruising kiss.

She starts the kiss of strong before losing her strength and crying into Jinsol's lips. They break the kiss and Jinsol moves to switch their positions, Jungeun now safely tucked under Jinsol's chin, curled up on her lap. Jinsol wraps her strong arms around her, rubbing her back soothingly. Jiwoo rushes out of Sooyoung's arms and reaches out for Jungeun who throws an arm around her, pulling her close.

Sooyoung smiles at the weird group hug awkwardly. She opts to give them space and sits on the arm of the couch, watching them patiently.

'I'm so sorry...' Jungeun's voice sounds as broken as she looks, as broken as she was.

'It's not your fault. What happened, Jungie? What triggered it? I haven't seen you switch so suddenly in years... Especially not since you met Jinsol...'

Jinsol frowns at Jiwoo and kisses the top of Jungeun's head. 'Do you girls need some privacy?'

Jungeun sits up and looks at Jinsol terrified. 'No, please don't leave me...' Jinsol shushes her and gently pulls her to lay her head on her chest. 'I'm not going anywhere if you don't want me to, love.'

Jungeun takes a shaky breath and nods against her. 'You deserve to know...'

Jiwoo gasps and blinks away more tears. Jungeun never wanted to tell anyone about her past. Not even Jiwoo's parents whom she's come to see as her own.

'Are you sure?' Jungeun nods weakly and closes her eyes, listening to Jinsol's steady heartbeat to steady her own.

'I guess I should tell you guys. It's been months and you have no clue why she's like this, do you?' Her question is directed at Jinsol but she reaches behind her for Sooyoung.

Sooyoung shuffles closer and wraps herself around Jiwoo comfortingly from behind.

'We always lived next to each other. We'd been neighbours ever since we were very young. We quickly became best friends. I was every so bright and Jungeun was sarcastic but very playful. We weren't the most popular kids but everyone knew us as the unlikely duo because of our different personalities.'

I can see it, I know what you're feelin'  
So let me tell you 'bout my little secret

Jinsol runs her hand through Jungeun's hair, a soft smile on her lips as she tries to envision a cute small Jungeun. Her attention turns to Jiwoo as she speaks softly, staring down at her lap.

'When we entered high school, Jungeun became more popular. Puberty had done her well and everyone swarmed around her due to her looks. She never paid them any mind and focused on me as her best friend.'

Taking a shaky breath, Jiwoo blinks back tears. Jungeun reaches out for her hand, squeezing tightly, telling her to continue silently.

'One day, Jungie wasn't at my doorstep to walk to school together. I went to her house to ask for her. Her mother told me she had to go visit her grandma on her dad's side because she was sick. Her dad had taken her and they weren't sure when they'd return. I thought it was strange that Jungeun had never mentioned this grandma to me nor texted me that she was gone. I was young and naive and trusted her mom's word.'

Jiwoo started shaking, Sooyoung wrapping her arms around her tighter and kissing her cheek gently.

Jungeun opens her mouth, her voice sounds broken.

'There never was a grandma. For the next 2 months, my father dragged me around for days at a time... He would torture me and sell me off to business associates and friends of his. In exchange for his beautiful daughter for a night, he would get amazing business deals and money...' 

Jinsol and Sooyoung gasp. Jinsol tightens her hold around Jungeun, tears freely rolling down her cheeks now. She felt sick at the thought.

'He broke me... They broke me... I thought it was all I was good for, to be controlled and used as a toy. I learned to shut myself off and let them do to me whatever they wanted. He made sure they never left marks on visible places... I didn't tell anyone, but Jiwoo noticed something was off. One day after school I asked Jiwoo to come inside with me. I was tired and thought that if Jiwoo was there with me, he wouldn't be able to drag me out with him...'

Jiwoo is sobbing in Sooyoung's hold now, her small body shaking violently.

'I'm so sorry I never realised, Jungie...' 

Jungeun smiles sadly at her best friend and gives her hand a squeeze, tears rolling down her cheeks.

'Turns out, he had his eyes on Jiwoo too. He'd watched her grow into a pretty teenager with cute charms. Someone else he could mould as he wished. I saw the way he looked at her and I snapped. I couldn't let him do that to Jiwoo too. So I snapped and started yelling and throwing things. We fought, my mother simply looked at us and Jiwoo ran off to get her parents...'

Jungeun sighs and tightens her grip on Jiwoo's hand.

'When I came back with my parents and the police on the way, we found Jungeun standing in a puddle of blood... She had pushed her dad during the struggle after he managed to cut her arm with a knife. He fell and hit his head on the edge of the kitchen counter, leaving him to bleed out on the floor... It was terrifying. Not the blood or her dad father. Her mother was scarier. She simply walked up to us with a soft smile on her face and a gun in her hands. She said Jungeun was to blame for all of this, she was never meant to be born and she didn't deserve love, only to be used as a slave. Then she shot herself before the police could stop her.'

Jungeun lets out a strangled sob, hiding in Jinsol's arms.

'Jungeun was in the middle of all of this. She looked broken, she smiled at me and said 'It's over now, Jiwoo. You're safe.' And I cried, we all did.'

Jinsol sobs, holding her girlfriend tightly. She was trying to convey all of her support and love to her through her touch. Nobody deserved what happened to her.

Everything inside you is dark and twisted

'After everything, my parents adopted Jungeun officially and we moved, wanting to leave it all behind. Jungeun refused to go into therapy, insisting she was okay. She started being rebellious and sleeping around. The older she got, the more controlling she became and the more protective of me she became.'

Jungeun rubs her eyes and breathes shakily. 'The episodes happen at night mainly, because that's when they would... I didn't have any control over anything during those moments, so I started seeking out people to control in the bedroom. When I'm Kimlip, the control is all mine. I decide what happens and with who. I decide if they're worthy enough to touch me or not... I'm in control...'

Jinsol kisses her cheek. 'You're so strong...'

Jungeun lets herself go entirely at Jinsol's words, losing it and crying in her arms the rest of the night.

Jiwoo and Sooyoung held each other, Jiwoo sobbing softly as Sooyoung tried to not show her own tears spilling out of her eyes. 

The girls spent the night like this, feeling closer than ever the morning after.

When the date of the anniversary of her parents' death neared, Jungeun became increasingly more unstable. Jinsol was able to lock her in their dorm with her and allowed her to do to her body whatever she needed to feel in control. She didn't mind the pain because it was mixed with pleasure. She didn't mind the pain because her pain took away Jungeun's.

END FLASHBACK

 

Jinsol sighs and finishes her drink.

'We'll get through it, we always do.'

Sooyoung smiles at her friend and gets out her books for their studying session. Sooyoung knew that determined look in Jinsol's eyes. When it came to Jungeun, there's nothing Jinsol wouldn't do. Sooyoung had been the one to tend for her wounds in the past after Jungeun's episodes. She became more stable and didn't hurt Jinsol anymore during their sexcapades during episodes but Sooyoung was always prepared to treat her best friend if she needed it. With the way things are looking now, Sooyoung thinks she might need to invest in a new first-aid kit.

'Let's study and get to class. I have to take Jungeun to Haseul tonight.' 

Jinsol grabs her books and starts studying diligently with her best friend.

She loves Jungeun. She had her issues, but who didn't? She still had the most beautiful soul Jinsol had ever seen and wouldn't have her any other way.

Do you ever feel like a misfit?  
Everything inside you is dark and twisted  
Oh, but it's okay to be different  
'Cause baby, so am I (so am I, so am I, so am I)  
Do you ever feel like an outcast?  
You don't have to fit into the format  
Oh, but it's okay to be different  
'Cause baby, so am I (so am I, so am I, so am I-I-I-I-I)


	4. Lovely

Thought I found a way  
Thought I found a way, yeah (found)  
But you never go away (never go away)  
So I guess I gotta stay now

*Nobody POV*

Everything feels wrong to Jungeun. Her breathing feels off and she's ready to snap at anyone that may look at her the wrong way. She tries desperately to focus on the blackboard at the front of the class. In just a few minutes she can leave the lecture hall and go back home. Back to Jinsol.

As the anniversary closes in, she can't seem to keep a grip on herself. The second she's even the slightest moment removed from Jinsol, her entire system threatens to shut down.

'That'll be all for today's class. Please don't forget to hand in your papers next week!' Students start gathering their things to leave the room but none are as quick on their feet as Jungeun is.

Jinsol is patiently waiting in the hallway. Noticing how jittery Jungeun has been lately, she tries her best to walk her to and from classes as often as she can. When she can't, she makes sure to ask Jiwoo or Sooyoung to be there for her.

Their eyes meet and suddenly Jinsol finds the life being squeezed out of her by Jungeun. She smiles sadly and wraps her arms around the younger girl, nuzzling into her hair.

'Hey, baby. You're okay. I'm here.' Jinsol feels her shake in her arms and holds her close, carefully walking towards the dorms with her.

Arriving at their dorm, Jinsol carefully takes Jungeun's backpack off of her and helps her remove her shoes so they can relax in the couch. Jungeun instantly melts into her hold and nuzzles into Jinsol's neck, breathing shakily. 

'Should we cancel meeting my parents? I don't want you to force yourself too hard.' Jungeun sighs. She really wants to see Jinsol's parents again, they're lovely people. And Jinsol deserves to visit them without worrying over her the entire time and having to come to her rescue in the middle of the night.

Shaking her head, she sits up on Jinsol's lap. 'It'll be okay. I want to see them again too. It might help take my mind off of things. Haseul said it could help being in a healthy and loving family setting occasionaly.'

Jinsol frowns but nods. 'Only if you're a hundred percent sure, dear.' Jungeun nods softly and leans in to place a sweet kiss on Jinsol's lips. Resting their foreheads together, Jungeun softly plays with the baby hairs on the back of Jinsol's neck. For some reason she's found that playing with someone's hair can calm her a lot. Haseul guesses it's because what Jiwoo and her parents did to her after the incident. It helped calm her and now she uses it to calm herself. Jinsol has noticed this too and usually returns the favour as she notices it even further calms her girlfriend.

'I love you so damn much, I hope you know that.' 

Eyes meet as Jungeun leans even closer into her, straddling her thighs. 'I love you too.' 

With that, the pair melts into each other. For a while, it's just them. They're safe in their own bubble.

Oh, I hope someday I'll make it out of here  
Even if it takes all night or a hundred years  
Need a place to hide, but I can't find one near  
Wanna feel alive, outside I can't fight my fear

* * *

Jinsol lets Sooyoung and Jiwoo in, helping them with the take-out in their hands. They'd decided to have dinner together today since Jinsol and Jungeun would spend the following day with Jinsol's parents. Having Jiwoo and Sooyoung around tended to help Jungeun relax too.

'Hey, how is she?' Jinsol and Sooyoung are setting up plates as Jiwoo smiles at them.

'She's asleep right now. She's strong and trying hard.' Jiwoo nods and shoots a meaningful look towards Jinsol. 'She's the strongest person I know, Jinsol. She'll make it through.' Jinsol nods and smiles slightly.

'And she's got her favourite sextoy to help her through too.' Sooyoung playfully nudges Jinsol and winks at her. The blonde rolls her eyes, blushing slightly. 'Shut up.'

'What? I can't help it that she's so keen on leaving marks all over you all the time. And did you forget we live next-door and the walls are quite thin?' Jinsol scratches the back of her neck at this, blush intensifying. Jiwoo quickly walks up to smack her girlfriends arm. 'Stop teasing her. You damn well know you're just as loud.' 

Sooyoung's eyes bulge out at this and Jinsol starts laughing loudly. She loves her friends.

'I knew you were a bottom for Jiwoo.' Winking at her best friend, she steps towards the bedroom to wake her girlfriend up.

She didn't expect to find Jungeun awake yet.

She didn't expect to see her bedsheets thrown around.

The bathroom door is open. Lights turned off.

A sense of dread comes over Jinsol as she rushes to the bathroom door and quickly flicks on the light.

'Jungeun...' Broken brown eyes stare up at her from the bathroom floor, a razor blade in her hand.

Jungeun always looked beautiful in crimson. Jinsol always told her that. But in this moment, there wasn't a colour Jinsol despised more as it covered her girlfriends arm.

Kneeling down and getting Jungeun's attention, she reaches out a hand. 'Jungie, hand me the blade please.' Jungeun wordlessly raises her arm, dropping the blade into Jinsol's palm softly. Her face is stoic, no emotion to be found. 

Jinsol shoots into action once the tool is out of Jungeun's possesion. She jumps up to wet a towel and quickly wraps it around Jungeun's wounded arm. She presses down on the cuts tightly and pulls Jungeun up from the floor.

Stumbling into the living room, Jiwoo and Sooyoung's happy banter quiets down as they see their friend's condition.

'What happened?' Jinsol shakes her head and moves to settle Jungeun on the couch.

Walking out of time  
Looking for a better place (looking for a better place)  
Something's on my mind  
Always in my head space

* * *

'She's dissociating. She'll be okay. Vivi will get her arm fixed up in no time.' Jinsol nods as she watches the young doctor treat her girlfriend. 

'Thanks so much, Haseul. Vivi too. I'm so glad you could come down.' Jiwoo hugs Haseul tightly. 'I'm also glad it was our night off. Jungeun isn't just a patient, she's a dear friend of mine.' She hugs the girl back and allows Jiwoo to sob into her chest softly.

Sooyoung returns from the bathroom with a deep sigh. Jinsol gets up to get everyone some water to calm down. She meets Sooyoung in the kitchen.

'I cleaned the bathroom for you, don't worry about it.' Jinsol nods at her friend shakily and reaches for some glasses. One almost drops from her hands. Sooyoung luckily catches it and sets it on the counter. 'Jinsol.'

Sooyoung reaches out for her friend and that's all it takes for Jinsol to finally let herself break. She's always trying to be strong for everyone, especially for Jungeun. She feels like she's failed her. She should've woken her up to go open the door with her or checked to wake her up sooner. She falls into her best friend's arms, tears flowing freely.

'It's not your fault, Sol.' Sooyoung hugs her tightly, rubbing her back. She knows Jinsol will try to blame herself for all of this. Nobody is to blame. Nobody but the bastard that made Jungeun the way she is and that bastard is long gone.

She holds her friend tightly and looks over to the living room to find Haseul comforting Jiwoo. Vivi, Haseul's fiance, is still carefully tending to Jungeun's wounds. She doesn't want to trigger the girl.

Jinsol sniffles and pulls herself together as she hears a soft whimper coming from the couch. She's so atuned to Jungeun that she picks it up immediately. Sooyoung smiles sadly as Jinsol rushes out of her arms to run to the couch.

'Jungie, I'm right here. You're safe and I'm right here.' Jinsol gently kneels in front of the girl, her hand gripping onto her unwounded one carefully. 'We're all here for you.' Jiwoo sits on her other side as Haseul and Vivi back up a bit, giving them space. The doctors hold hands and nervously wait for their friend to come back to them. Sooyoung finishes filling a pitcher of water and bringing it over with glasses for everyone.

Vivi asks her if she knows where everything is in the kitchen. Sooyoung shows her the way and helps her prepare a plate of food and snacks to get Jungeun's strength up after having lost so much blood. Vivi was glad it wasn't bad enough for her to need to take her to the hospital for a transfusion but Jungeun will still be very weakened.

A soft grunt comes from Jungeun's throat and Jinsol quickly pours her a glass of water and gently helps her drink. Jungeun sips slowly, eyes closing at the feeling of the cold liquid running down her throat. The cold water helps clear the haze in her head and she slowly becomes more aware of her environment.

'Jin...Sol...' Jinsol doesn't bother hiding her tears anymore at this point. Jungeun looks down at her and reaches up with her wounded arm, wincing slightly. Jinsol gently pushes it down and allows her to caress her cheek with her good hand instead. 'Don't agitate the wounds further, love.' Jungeun gently plays with Jinsol's hair, staring into her eyes softly. The broken look in her eyes returns as tears start slipping down her cheeks.

'I'm so sorry...' Jinsol shakes her head and kisses her hand sweetly. Reaching up, she allows Jungeun to fall into her as they both kneel on the floor, sobbing together.

'Don't be sorry, love. We're all here for you and we all love you.' Jinsol gently plays with Jungeun's hair, trying to calm her. Jiwoo reaches forward and gently rubs circles on Jungeun's back.

It takes Jungeun a while to be calm enough to form coherent thoughts, but when she does, everyone is still right there waiting for her.

'You didn't have to come.' Haseul and Vivi chuckle dryly. 'That's probably the most irrational thing I've ever heard you say, even during one of our sessions. We're here because you're our friend and we want to help you. We did have to come. We don't want to lose you. We love you.' Vivi nods softly and leans over the couch to pat Jungeun on the shoulder comfortingly.

They're all sitting around the couple in the couch, sipping water as Jinsol continues to try to get Jungeun to eat, little by little letting the colour return to her complexion.

Jinsol kisses her temple and rubs her shoulder. 'We're all here for you.' Jungeun sniffles and smiles sadly.

She doesn't deserve all of this, she only makes everyone's lives miserable. 'I wish I could get better. I'm so disappointing.' 

Everyone immediately protests. Jinsol remains quiet and simply pulls her closer.

'Jungeun. You know our proposal still stands.' Jungeun bites her lip and looks down. She hadn't told Jinsol yet.

'What proposal?' Haseul sighs. 'Of course she hasn't told you. I should've told you myself.' She takes a deep breath and turns to Jinsol.

'During our session last week, I mentioned a recovery program that Vivi's colleague is running. It's a facility by the ocean, meant to help work through trauma. It uses group and private therapy together with activities. It's a 6-month program. There are rules, of course but I think you could make it work and this could help her. To be in an environment where she can fully focus on recovery. Jinsol, the first month she would be closed off from everyone she knows. If she does well, after that she can contact us all through phone and I can have weekly assesment sessions with her. Benefits go up the better she does. Ideally she'd be allowed visitors by the 3rd month.'

Jinsol frowns and thinks it over. Jungeun has always made it clear that she doesn't want more therapy than she already gets. But she isn't getting further in life this way. There's only so much Jinsol can do.

'You should go.' Jungeun turns to her girlfriend, eyes big and confused. Jinsol sighs and smiles at her sweetly, caressing her cheeks.

'This might be exactly what you need, Jungie. You want to get better, we all want you to get better. There's only so much we can do for you. If you don't want to, of course I'll stay with you and help you through as I have been doing so far. And if you decide to go, you bet I'll be waiting for your call. No matter what, I'm not leaving. You're the one for me. I just want you do to what's best for you.'

Jungeun mulls over her words. She was worried Jinsol would leave her, being away from her for so long. Surely she'd find someone better and more mentally stable than her. Looking back up to Jinsol's determined eyes filled with a look of love, Jungeun makes up her mind. She pulls her girlfriend into a sweet kiss. Nodding softly, she turns to Haseul and Vivi.

'I'll go. If you trust this doctor and program, so do I. I trust you guys, even if I don't show it well.' 

Jiwoo bursts out in tears and pulls her best friend into a tight hug while still minding her hurt arm. 'I'm so proud of you, Jungie. We'll all be there for you every step of the way, promise.'

* * *

Isn't it lovely? All alone  
Heart made of glass, my mind of stone  
Tear me to pieces, skin to bone  
Hello. Welcome home

'I love you.' Jungeun sighs into Jinsol's hold. 'I love you too. I'll work hard and be back soon, I promise.' Jinsol pulls away, wiping Jungeun's tears away and kissing her softly.

They'd agreed that Haseul would be the one to drive Jungeun up to the beach institute. That way nobody had to miss classes and Haseul could help her through the first few days. She'd made an agreement with the doctor in charge so that Jungeun wouldn't immediately be plunged into an unfamiliar environment as she does not react well to that.

Haseul smiles at the couple, her heart filled with pride. Jungeun has come a far way since meeting Jinsol. Jinsol is the type of person that wants to protect those close to her at all cost, even if that means hurting herself. She's entirely selfless and that's exactly what Jungeun needs in her life.

'I'll be waiting for your call and Haseul will keep me updated.' Haseul nods at this from the driver's seat of her car. Jungeun's bags were already in the trunk.

Jinsol pulls out a small velvet box and hands it to her. 'Open it in the car.'

They share a last tight hug and kiss. Off Jungeun goes. Jinsol stands there waving at the car until long after they're out of sight.

She falls to her knees, tears running down her cheeks. Her heart breaks for Jungeun. Sooyoung and Jiwoo had already said goodbye and were watching from the background, giving the couple some space.

At the sight of Jinsol breaking down, they rush forward to hug her tightly. 'She's going to come back, Jinsol. And she'll be stronger than ever.' Jinsol sobs into their arms. Their hearts tear apart in their chests. Both their friends would need them during this time. Whatever it takes, they'll be there.

 

In the car, Haseul nudges a softly crying Jungeun and points at the velvet box in her hands. 'Open it.'

Jungeun sniffles and rubs her eyes before opening the box. A beautiful silver necklace sits in the box, the pendant being a key with a small owl and fish engraved into it.

She frowns and looks at Haseul. 'What?' Haseul reaches into her breast pocket and hands her a maroon envelope.

Opening the letter, still frowning, Jungeun instantly recognises Jinsol's handwriting. The letter smells like her favourite perfume aswel.

'My dearest Jungie,

You must be confused about my little present.

I realised, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you in every single way. Wether you're struggling with this trauma or not, it won't change my love for you.

You never had a real home. You were never able to feel safe at home. Didn't have anyone to welcome you home.

I remember those nights where you'd fantasize with me about our perfect first apartment together. How we'd have a puppy running around because you don't think you can handle children.

Jiwoo and Sooyoung would live close by to bother us whenever they want. 

You'd come home from work and I'd be in the kitchen, cooking us dinner and welcoming you home.

Anywhere you are is home to me. You are my home, Jungie. But to put it in physical form...

That key is the key to our future apartment together, to our future life together, to our own home. I want you to have the key to remember there's a reason for you to come back.

No matter what, you'll always have me to come home to. You'll have a place to call home.

I'll be waiting for you. Forever if I have to. I love you.

Yours truly forever and always,

Jinsol'

Jungeun sobs, a hand covering her mouth in pure awe. She can't believe Jinsol would do this. She doesn't deserve her.

'She had been looking for a place for the both of you for a while now. After you agreed to enter the program, she decided to just go for it. She found the perfect place for you both. She'd been saving up for a while and her parents helped her with the down payment. She plans to save up and buy furniture and decorations as she goes. She'll stay at the dorms until you're back. I'll be bringing by magazines for you to look into and write down what furniture you'd like so Jinsol can have your touch in your home too.'

Jungeun smiles, rubbing the tears out of her eyes. She lifts the necklace and puts it on, raising the key to her lips and kissing it softly.

'I'l definitely come back home to her. Please tell her that whenever you can.' Haseul nods and reaches over to squeeze Jungeun's shoulder.

'You know that girl would go to the edge of the universe for you. And she's right to do so. Don't ever think you don't deserve her because she wants nobody else and I can't think of anybody better for her than you.' Jungeun smiles at her, genuinely and takes a deep breath as they near the institute. She opens the window and inhales the salty ocean air. 

She can't wait to properly go home. Home, where Jinsol is. Where Sooyoung and Jiwoo are. Where Haseul and Vivi are.

Home. It sounds comforting, finally.

 

 

But I know someday I'll make it out of here  
Even if it takes all night or a hundred years

Whoa, yeah  
Yeah, ah  
Whoa, whoa  
Hello, welcome home

Isn't it lovely...


	5. Slow Dance [Final]

_If you stay for this minute  
Girl, I’ll never let you down_

** *Nobody POV* **

'How are you feeling?' Haseul smiles at her friend in the passenger seat of her car. Jungeun takes a deep breath and puts on her sunglasses. 'Nervous. But so ready.' Nodding, she hits the gas and zooms off, away from the facility that had been Jungeun's home for the past year and a half. It took her a while, but she was finally stable enough to go home. Jungeun smiles softly as she looks out the car window. The wind blows softly through the leaves of the road-side trees, rustling them gently.

'I'm ready to go home.'

_We ain’t off the limit  
I could hold you after now_

 

*** * ***

 

The repetitive and rhythmic pounding sound of fists striking boxing bags resonates through the entire boxing hall. Sweat drips, a cooler filled with water softly bubbles in the corner every once and a while, and in the middle of it all Jinsol stands proudly. A marine biologist by day and mixed martial arts trainer on the weekends, it's perfect. 

She glances at the clock and smiles widely. 'So close.' Sooyoung chuckles at the sight of her giddy friend and pats her on the shoulder. 'Come on, let's continue sparring and showing these kids how it's done. Get those nerves out of your system and kill some time.' Laughing, Jinsol follows her friend into one of the rings and stretches. 'No gear but let's not leave too many bruises. I want to be somewhat presentable when she gets here.' Softly nodding, Sooyoung jumps up and down to get her blood pumping through her muscles. 'I'll try my best.' 

The surrounding trainees turn as they notice their teachers get ready to spar. It was always a sight to see. The pair of best friends rivalled each other in the ring and didn't hold back. They know the other is fast and strong enough to handle a few punches and avoid the harder ones. Some of them blush as they watch their teachers take off their shirts to reveal their sports bras and toned upper bodies. Jinsol and Sooyoung knew there were plenty of trainees that had a crush on them and tried to flirt with them on multiple occasions. For Sooyoung, it was much easier to prove that she's in a committed relationship with Jiwoo, as the bubbly girl came by often and showered her girlfriend with affection. Most of them laid off with flirting with Sooyoung because of that.

Jinsol wasn't as lucky as she didn't need everyone knowing her girlfriend was in a rehabilitation program. Not that she was embarrassed by it, quite the opposite, she's always been proud since Jungeun agreed to go. Jungeun herself didn't want the world to know. Jinsol respected that and simply told people she was on a special study program, which is not a complete lie as they did offer classes and workshops as part of the program. 

However, without physical evidence of a girlfriend, Jinsol continued to be flirted with by her trainees and people on the streets. Her popularity never really went down, even after graduating.

As one of their assistant trainers rings the bell, the 2 go in on each other to release tension. Cheers and swoons are heard around the ring.

 

_No more talking, I don’t know what you wanna do with that?  
It feels good, why you even wanna hold it back?  
We just work and I know there’s no coming back  
Where you at? Where you at? Where you at?_

 

*** * ***

 

'She wished she hadn't planned it this way but the owner of the gym wouldn't let her get out of her trainer duties today. Then again, I don't think you'll mind seeing her all hot and sweaty.' Jiwoo laughs as Jungeun's entire face goes red and Haseul pats her on the back. 'Why did I ask you to come along again?' Jiwoo pulls her into a tight hug. 'Because I'm your best friend and you've missed me.' 

Sighing, Jungeun nods and melts into her best friend's embrace. She really did miss her bubbly nature. 'I really did miss you.' Tearing up slightly, the girls smile at each other and turn to the gym entrance. 

'I'll be heading back home and see you guys for dinner tonight!' Hugging her tightly, Jungeun thanks Haseul and tells her to say her thanks and send her best regards to Vivi. 'Of course, sweetie.'

Jiwoo grabs her by the hand as Haseul heads back to her car and pulls her towards the entrance. 'Welcome to the gym our lovely girlfriends have become famous at!' Chuckling, the girls enter and Jungeun feels her heart pounding in her chest. She'll finally be able to see Jinsol again. Last time was briefly 3 weeks ago to discuss the final stage of her recovery and how her return home would go.

In the middle of the gym, chanting can be heard. 'Looks like our girls are sparring. That always attracts a lot of attention.' Smiling, Jungeun stands back with Jiwoo as their girlfriends continue sparring, unaware of the new spectators. The bell rings again and the 2 sweaty best friends chuckle, patting each other on the back. 

'It's a draw again!' Their colleague declares before stepping off to the side with a chuckle. The trainees around them go wild as usual and some try to get into the ring to complement their favourite trainer or ask for tips. Sooyoung gets handed a towel from one of the girls and thanks her with a pat on the head. 

Jinsol stretches and has a drink from her water bottle as one of the girls walks up to her and uses a towel to wipe away some sweat on her neck. Smiling nervously, Jinsol tries to step back. This was one of the more crass girls that wouldn't leave her alone. She only hoped she'd back off finally when Jungeun comes back, otherwise, she's in a hell of a lot of trouble.

'You did so well as always! You look so cool when you fight.' Nodding, Jinsol thanks her and tries to take the towel from her. The girl just swats her hand away and keeps dapping the towel at some sweat beads disappearing near Jinsol's chest area. 'Thanks but-' 

'EXCUSE ME' Jinsol was about to tell the girl off when she's interrupted by a very familiar voice. She turns to find Jungeun heading straight for her, angry stomps and cute frown between her eyes. Jinsol bites her lip to stop from laughing as her girlfriend is clearly upset. As she reaches them, she pushes the other girl away and stares her down. Jungeun may be small but she's very intimidating. 'What in the hell do you think you're doing to my girlfriend?!' Stuttering, the other girl backs off in fear. A gasp and murmurs go around the crowd. Some of them facepalm as they realise Jinsol was indeed telling the truth this whole time.

Chuckling, Jinsol steps forward and wraps herself around her girlfriend, pressing into her back and nuzzling her soft brown locks. 'I think she got the point, Jungie.' Sighing, Jungeun closes her eyes for a moment and leans into Jinsol's touch. She's going to make sure they all get that Jinsol is hers and hers alone.

Turning around, she pulls Jinsol into a much-awaited searing kiss. Jinsol gasps in surprise but quickly melts into her, wrapping her arms around her waist tightly. Jungeun runs her hands through Jinsol's dark locks, relishing in how soft they feel despite her being sweaty and sticky. Pulling away, she smirks. 'No, now they got the point, Sol.' Laughing, Sooyoung walks up with Jiwoo under her arm. 'You guys really know how to get a point across, let me tell you that. Now does old Soo get some love or not?' 

Laughing, Jungeun pulls Sooyoung and Jiwoo into a tight hug. 'I've missed you too, Jungeun.' Smiling at Sooyoung's soft voice, Jungeun tears up, happy to be back home, with her family.

 

_And do you mind if I say it?  
Just wanna have you around, ooh  
We take, then we give it  
Something lifts us off the ground, baby_

 

*** * ***

 

Pulling into the parking lot, Jinsol kills the engine and smiles as Jungeun looks up at the apartment complex in front of them. It's a modern-looking building, clearly quite new but with a very homey feel to it. There are paths between the parking spaces and apartment blocks, lined with flowers and small trees in different colours. Jungeun loves her new home already, she did from the moment she held the key in her hands.

Getting out of the car, Jinsol helps Jungeun out and tightly holds her hand. 'Are you ready?' Nodding softly, she squeezes her hand, sparkles in her eyes. Jinsol can't help but lean in and kiss her forehead, absolutely smitten with her girlfriend. 

As they walk up to the entrance, they bump into one of their neighbours.

'Jinsol, I see she's finally home?' A sweet smile is directed towards the couple. 'At last, my love is home! Jungie, this is one of our neighbours, Sana.' Smiling genuinely, Jungeun reaches out a hand to greet her neighbour. 'Pleasure meeting you finally!' Sana chuckles and pulls Jungeun into a tight hug. Sana had been a good friend and help around the apartment while Jungeun was gone. Jinsol would tell her about Sana and her girlfriend Dahyun over the phone. They helped her set up and kept her company when Jiwoo and Sooyoung were too busy.

'I've heard a lot about you. It feels nice to finally put a face to all the kindness. Thanks for taking care of Jinsol while I wasn't there.' Shaking her head Sana leans back and looks Jungeun in the eye. 'You both are always welcome at ours. Speaking of which, Dahyun's car broke down again so I'll go pick her up from her parents' house. We might be a little late for dinner.' Jinsol laughs warmly, sending tingles down Jungeun's back. 'Why won't she just get rid of that old thing?' Sana simply shakes her head and shoots the pair a wink before running off. 'See you guys later, we have a lot of chatting to do!' Jungeun and Jinsol wave at the sweet girl and head inside. 

'Sana has been trying to get Dahyun to buy a new car for ages. She won't though because it's the reason she met Sana in the first place.' Jungeun laughs. 'I can't wait to hear that story.'

Jinsol and Jungeun fall into comfortable banter. They talk about their neighbours and plans for the evening and before they know it, they're in front of their apartment door.

'To you the honours, my dear.' Slowly reaching up, Jungeun takes her necklace off and looks at the key attached to it. She'd worn the key through her whole recovery program, not wanting to lose it. She reaches forward and, with bated breath, inserts the key and twists it. Jinsol hovers behind her and puts her hand over Jungeun's to open the door together ceremoniously.

'Welcome home.' Jungeun smiles, tears in her eyes.

 

_I wanna slow dance if you feeling me now_

 

They step into their apartment, light seeping in through the large windows in the living room area. Jinsol steps up to stand beside her girlfriend, hand reaching over and tightly holding Jungeun's.

 

_If we don't hold hands you'll be killing me now (killing me now)_

 

Jungeun turns and pulls Jinsol into a tight hug. 'I can't believe I'm finally here.' She looks up at Jinsol through her tears, clasping at her shoulders. 'I did it. I made it.' The realisation of how far she's come finally hits her. Jinsol can only smile teary-eyed, caressing Jungeun's cheek. 'I know. I never had a doubt that you wouldn't come back to me. You're the strongest person I know, Jungie.'

 

_We need a  
Romance_

 

Leaning in, resting their foreheads together and letting their breaths mix, everything finally falls into place the way it should.

 

_One chance (one chance)_

 

'Jungeun, will you come with me for a second? I want to show you something.' Jungeun nods eagerly and allows Jinsol to guide her to their bedroom. Opening the door, a small box sits on top of the bed, neatly folded crimson duvet the perfect contrast to the stark white box.

'What's this?' Jinsol smiles and gestures for her to go find out.

Jungeun tentatively picks the box up and takes off the blue bow wrapped around it tightly. She inhales, smiling at the vague scent of beach sand in their bedroom. She lifts the lid off of the box and bites her lip as she finds a keychain with a picture inside. A small note is tucked underneath it.

_'Jungie, remember our first time going to the beach together to watch the sunset with Jiwoo and Sooyoung? That's the night I fully realised I fell head over heels in love with you. That was our first sunset together. Let's watch the sunset together until the end of our days. You're the one I can't live without. I love you.'_

Tears slipping over her cheeks, Jungeun looks at the picture on the keychain. It's a selfie they took at the beach together that night. Jinsol is kissing her cheek and Jungeun is blushing furiously. Her heart pounds as she turns to thank Jinsol. 

Jinsol is kneeling on their bedroom floor, a small box in her hands. 'I want every sunset from now on to have the same ending. You in my arms forever. My heart isn't at ease if you're not with me.' Jungeun gasps and cries freely now, breathing erratic. 

'I love you, more than words can express. So I'd like to let my actions speak instead by being with you through every day, loving you with all my heart and doing the best I can to bring you happiness every day. Jungeun, love of my life, will you do me the absolute honour of becoming my wife?'

 

_I just wanna know will you slow dance?_

 

'YES! YES! A MILLION TIMES YES! OMG JINSOL!' Smiling widely, Jinsol bursts out into tears as Jungeun falls into her arms hugging her tightly. 'God, I love you so damn much.' 

They lean back slightly to pull each other into a soft kiss. 'I didn't even get to show off my ring.' Jungeun rolls her eyes and sniffles, wiping her wife's tears away. 'Go ahead then, dork.' Jinsol teases her immediately. 'That means you'll be Mrs Dork soon then.' 

They laugh together and Jinsol opens the small box in her hand. A silver ring comes into view, simple but detailed. In the middle sits a single sapphire stone with a small fish engraved underneath it, shining it through in just the right light. 'Jinsol, it's beautiful. I don't know what to say...' Smiling, Jinsol helps her put the ring on. 'You already said yes and that's all I was hoping for. I have a matching one with a ruby gemstone and a small owl under it.' 

Outside their bedroom, mumbles can be heard. 'You guys can come in!'

The door bursts open, revealing their friend group. Jiwoo bounces up and rushes towards her best friend when she spots her wearing the ring. 'CONGRATULATIONS! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED!' They hug each other tightly as Sooyoung pulls her best friend into a hug. 'You actually did it, loser. I'm proud of you.' Laughing, she pushes her off before greeting Haseul and Vivi too. 'Thank you guys, I don't know what would've become of us without your help.' Jungeun joins in, pulling them all into a hug. 'You saved my life, all of you.' 

Stepping back from the embrace, she leans into Jinsol. Looking around the room, she sees her family. Jiwoo, her eternal best friend and sister at this point. Sooyoung, a confidant and essentially sister-in-law. Haseul, a guardian and parental figure she desperately needed together with Vivi's guidance and sweet nurturing. And lastly, Jinsol.

The light of her life. Her literal saviour. 

'You all stood by me through some of my darkest days. I can't thank you enough. I am just so glad to have met every single one of you. I don't even know what to say.'

Haseul smiles and points to the door. 'How about we go for dinner and all catch-up. I find words come out a lot easier on a full stomach and with some wine involved.'

Smiling, she nods and looks down at her finger. Jinsol pulls her own ring out and allows Jungeun to put it on her hand. They hold hands with big smiles on their faces. 

Jinsol kisses her forehead. 'I love you, my sweet little psycho.' Jungeun smiles and walks behind her to follow the others out to the kitchen. 'I love you too, loser.'

 

_Taking turns, taking turns in this dance now  
I won't forget about you_

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note:
> 
> THE FINALE? OMG!
> 
> I never thought this was going to turn into a full story. It started as a simple one-shot and bloomed to this proportion. I feel sad to end the story but I'm also proud we made it here. I couldn't have done this without everyone's support and motivation!
> 
> Thank you for reading, commenting and appreciating the story. I love you all.
> 
> If you'd like a follow-up story or epilogue, definitely comment below or message me on twitter @shaimaafoop
> 
> Suggestions for new stories, prompts, or any convo is always appreciated!
> 
> Have a good night/day! :3


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